Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
