I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
