When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
3 2 1 whiskey
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
