I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
