I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
