At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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