i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's official drugs can't kill me
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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