The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
