I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
