all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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