He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
