don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
