fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
