let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
