lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
