belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
