4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
