I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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