There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
