Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
