real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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