I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
3 2 1 whiskey
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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