I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
