Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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