I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
