Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
there is glitter all over my balls
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
