Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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