I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
