check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
