sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize