porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Duck Duck Cougar?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
