I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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