I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
