Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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