HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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