So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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