peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
