And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
