In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
