Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
