He told me they were just razor bumps!
He felt like a one man threesome
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
