I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
