I want to make a zoo with you.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
