I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
