We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
