For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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