You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
