I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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