She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
