Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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