I hope mine doesn't look like that
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
