Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
