ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
