Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Also, beer. Big fan.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
