Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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