so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
