Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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