I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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