This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You dont lie about slip and slides
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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