so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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