I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
