The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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