I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
