i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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