ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
