you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
